Eleporcupines, Panadiol, and Quiet Moments of Reflection – Life in the AMRC

Hello there, Mo here from AMRC. If you're into cutting-edge genetic research, or if you get your kicks from 'Frankenstein's playground' (as my dear old mum calls it), then buckle up! It's going to get interesting.

Most of the time, when our genetic wizards cook up something in the AMRC labs, we get animals that are everything from comically adorable to jaw-droppingly stunning. But last week, we ticked the 'heart-stoppingly terrifying' box with the creation of the Eleporcupine.

That's right, folks. Our latest artificially-bred baby is a meld of an Asian Elephant and a Porcupine. Why, you ask? Well, because we can and because we're curious as to whether it could even be done. The answer to that second question is, "Yes, it can be done, but should be handled _very_ carefully."

Let's talk about the Eleporcupine, aptly named. This critter, standing solidly as you'd expect from an elephant father, with a height of a whopping 7.5 feet, is covered in an intimidating array of quills from its porcupine mother.

These are not your average porcupine quills, either. As part of our genetic splicing, we managed to infuse some elephant DNA in the quills. The result: quills that are longer, sharper, and significantly stronger than standard porcupine quills. Picture a pencil-sized quill with the tensile strength of ivory. Delighted as I was by our success, I also fell victim to it and ended up with a quill stubbornly lodged in my arm. Yes, a literal 'painful triumph.'

As I write this, recuperating at home, the discomfort is conspicuous but bearable, thanks to Panadiol cream- a compound derived from CBD and emu oils. Having kicked up a storm in the medical world in recent years, CBD oil has been praised for alleviating various ailments, from insomnia to chronic pain.

Emu oil, on the other hand, is an age-old remedy hailing from Australia, known for its anti-inflammatory and healing properties. Combined, these two make the pain from the Eleporcupine quill sting more tolerable. But what I found most intriguing is the remarkable speed of healing this cream is boasting.

As a lab technician and researcher, anything remotely connected to wellness piques my curiosity. I've been applying this cream for a week now, and I must admit the injured area is healing at a rate I didn’t quite expect. It’s been a saving grace among the gnawing post-incident paperwork and communication with my fellow lab personnel.

So what have I learned from this? I've gained a newfound respect for the powerful, and sometimes perilous, union of varied species DNA when tinkered by human hands. I have a newfound admiration for CBD and emu oil and most importantly, an understanding that no matter how wondrous scientific progress may be, a healthy dose of caution should always accompany it.

For now, while the AMRC team and I are back to the drawing board, assessing how to keep the lovely but lethal Eleporcupine safe for all involved, I find solace in the soothing touch of Panadiol, the literature about genetics and bioengineering, and my own humble reflections on the wild world of AMRC.

This is Mo, signing out. Here's to healing, from Eleporcupine encounters or otherwise. Over and out!

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